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If you get arrested, a lawyer is handy if you're guilty and absolutely essential if you're not. Generally, lawyers are shrewd, intelligent, and fun to talk to, if you're not paying $200 an hour for the conversation. If you're accused of a crime, you'd be crazy to go to trial without an attorney. Civil law is another matter. Once in a while people find themselves in need of an attorney. For example, if the neighbor's dog jumps over the fence and takes a piece out of my leg, I'll see to it that the negligent neighbors pay my medical bills. That would probably require an attorney. Most people recognize, however, that litigation can be used to pursue a number of things other than justice. It has been said that you don't have to literally chase ambulances to be considered an ambulance chaser. In my opinion, one of this country's biggest and most costly problems is hair-splitting legalism and opportunism in the form of frivolous class-action lawsuits which benefit only the lawyers who file them. The trial lawyers' "justice" myth. Although trial lawyers say they "protect the little guy," that's a myth. In truth, for every little guy they help, they hurt thousands. A perversion of Justice: As vile as pederasts, pedophiles, bottom-feeding scum-suckers, are, there are others who are even worse, if only because they are far more numerous. For openers, there are the lawyers who use all their guile to con juries into letting these freaks run loose. I have no idea how these shysters sleep at night, knowing full well that their children and grandchildren could be the creep's next prey. Next we have the judges, the parole boards, the ACLU and the legislatures, who are all in cahoots to pretend that these perverts are just like other criminals. It's just not so. Setting the Bar for Corruption. The real name of the nation's foremost securities class-action firm is Milberg Weiss. … Since 1965, the firm has won, often by tactics indistinguishable from extortion, $45 billion from corporations — more than $1 billion a year for plaintiffs claiming to have been cheated as investors. The Law is an Ass. When even Harvard law professor and one-time member of O.J. Simpson's so-called dream team Alan Dershowitz claims that over 90% of all criminal defendants are guilty, why would any sane person want to devote his life to trying to spring hundreds, maybe even thousands, of felons? I realize that our legal system insists that every murderer, rapist, pedophile and kidnapper, is entitled to the very best defense his lawyer can provide, but what sort of human being wakes up in the morning and, even before brushing his fangs, is busy thinking up ways to aid and abet those monsters? And just how is he morally superior to the goon who drives the getaway car? No Lawyers, Please. A poll released this week finds that most Americans do not want their day in court. Rather, they prefer cheaper and faster methods of settling arguments. When asked how they'd like to settle a dispute with a company, 82% chose arbitration, which avoids the time and expense of going to court. Only 15% opted for litigation. 'Over-lawed' nation: For our money, attorney Norman Pattis still holds the record for the best summation of the legal profession: "Each year, the bar belches forth a new class of lawyers; we add them faster than they die off. Lawyers need cases or controversies to survive. As the number of lawyers grows, plaintiffs' lawyers reach ever deeper into the cesspool of human need to find clients." The Lawsuit Gravy Train: Doing It the Black Way. Writer Shahrazad Ali described the antics of blacks who either had filed class-action lawsuits or were plotting lawsuits against their white employers for so-called discriminatory practices. Calling this stratagem "a new job related lottery," she chided such blacks for their "perpetual begging" and willingness to have whites "buy and sell" them. Thanks to today's political climate, the perpetual begging has turned into perpetual demands…. After I-35W bridge collapse, lawyers promptly pounced. The last victim of the Interstate 35W bridge collapse has been recovered from the water. The long, complex search for the disaster's cause is ramping up in earnest. It's about the time we'd expect the lawyers to descend. The "climate change" gravy train ... Flooded Village Files Suit, Citing Corporate Link to Climate Change. Lawyers for the Alaska Native coastal village of Kivalina, which is being forced to relocate because of flooding caused by the changing Arctic climate, filed suit in federal court here Tuesday [2/26/2008] arguing that 5 oil companies, 14 electric utilities and the country's largest coal company were responsible for the village's woes. Lawyers Embrace U.S. Climate Practice at $700 an Hour. Lawyers are becoming some of the best-paid environmentalists. Twenty of the 100 highest-grossing U.S. law firms have started practices advising companies on climate change, according to a Bloomberg survey of the firms' Web sites. The attorneys help clients finance clean-energy projects and lobby Congress, typically billing $500 to $700 an hour. Exposing Trial Lawyer Earmarks Growing in Congress. Every summer, I suspect that those who work at garden supply stores are inundated by people looking for advice on how to fight back against invasive vines and weeds that creep into their yards. … A similar lesson holds true for trying to contain the growth and threat to our economy of the plaintiffs' trial bar: no matter how much work we put into bringing balance to the U.S. legal system, there's a good chance plaintiffs' lawyers will regroup and look for new ways to sue. Judge Ahab and the Whales: In its storied history the U.S. Navy has defeated German U-boats and the British and Japanese Imperial navies, but we are about to find out if it can be whipped by whales and activist judges. Welcome to the new world of lawsuits as antiwar weapons. See also Environmentalists vs. Military Preparedness. Sublimely Ridiculous Suits. There's a guy I'd never heard of (and whose name I will not repeat) who has plenty of time on his hands because he resides in a federal slammer down South, where he is serving time for wire fraud and identity theft. Alas, he has enough time on his hands to be his own lawyer and launch his own lawsuits. He's claiming I caused him "major mental damage" when I supposedly said, "Anyone who steals credit cards and does identity theft should rot in prison." Parents Sue Philadelphia for Letting Them Kill Their Child. The abdication of individual responsibility, along with the chutzpah and greed that drive our legal system to ever new extremes of absurdity, may have reached a climax in Philadelphia, where parents have filed a suit against the city for letting them kill their child. Lawyer Reveals Secret, Toppling Death Sentence. For 10 years, Leslie P. Smith, a Virginia lawyer, reluctantly kept a secret because the authorities on legal ethics told him he had no choice, even though his information could save the life of a man on death row, one whose case had led to a landmark Supreme Court decision. Mr. Smith believed that prosecutors had committed brazen misconduct by coaching a witness and hiding it from the defense, but the Virginia State Bar said he was bound by legal ethics rules not to bring up the matter. Inmate's freedom may hinge on secret kept for 26 years. For a quarter of a century, defense lawyers Dale Coventry and Jamie Kunz were bound by the rules of law to hold onto a secret that now could mean freedom for a man serving a life sentence for murder. … Bound to silence by attorney-client privilege, Kunz and Coventry could do nothing as another man, Alton Logan, 54, was tried and convicted instead. The Editor asks... Is attorney-client privilege more important than justice? We'll Rue Having Judges on the Battlefield. The Supreme Court's decision in Boumediene v. Bush is being hailed in many quarters as a great victory for civil rights and the rule of law. It is not. In fact, it is a watershed in judicial hubris, and in the continuing trend in our society to convert every form of decision making into a lawsuit. Did someone mention Boumediene? Safety mania bursts clown's bubbles. A clown has had to stop blowing bubbles for children to chase after being warned it could be a safety hazard. Tony Turner, also known as Barney Baloney, will now stick to clowning and juggling after being refused insurance by several companies which feared youngsters might slip on the bubbles' residue. Professor Sues Students For Doubting Hairbrained 'Theories'. She claims that her students violated her civil rights. She says student's "anti-intellectualism" made her life a living hell. So, this ex-Dartmouth professor is threatening to sue her students for the temerity to have doubted her hairbrained theories on "ecofeminism" and the "French narrative theory." … Why, it was so horrible for her that she felt she had to consult a physician for her symptoms of "intellectual distress." Stuff and Nonsense. The drink maker Snapple claims its products are "made from the best stuff on Earth." But what does "stuff on Earth" mean, exactly? Does it mean "stuff" that naturally exists? Or is it enough that the "stuff" can be artificially created? The answer could be worth $100 million to persons who bought Snapple thinking its ingredients were "all natural," according to a lawsuit filed in early July in federal court in New York City. Man says hold the cheese, claims McDonald's didn't, sues for $10 million. A Morgantown man, his mother and his friend are suing McDonald's for $10 million. The man says he bit into a hamburger and had a severe allergic reaction to the cheese melted on it. The Editor says... A person who is so severely allergic to cheese would have to be an utter fool to trust his health to McDonald's minimum-wage burger-flipping employees. And wouldn't a person in that fragile state of health look inside the burger before biting into it? And how do we know it's really cheese and not some artificial look-alike? I wish I could be on that jury! The Black Trial: The human drama the jury didn't see. Just before the case went to the jury, Conrad Black's two lead attorneys sent him a demand for an additional million bucks each. No messing around with billable hours and 15-minute increments and $27.59 for photocopying: just a nice round seven-figure sum by way of supplementary retainer. A day or two before closing arguments to the 12 men and women who'll decide your fate is no time to pick a quarrel with your lawyers. Sometimes First Prize is Not an Honor. If it weren't so sad, it would be funny. We've become so accustomed to various warning labels that we often forget their proliferation is a direct result of frivolous litigation. When runaway juries fail to penalize plaintiffs in frivolous cases for their own stupidity — it's called "contributory negligence" in legalese — they think they are raiding corporate deep pockets. In fact, the pockets they are picking are their own. Inmate Files Another Bizarre Lawsuit, Names Barry Bonds, Bud Selig and Hank Aaron's Bat. The prisoner who made headlines by filing a "63,000,000,000 billion dollar" lawsuit against NFL quarterback Michael Vick is at it again, this time suing new home run king Barry Bonds, Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig and a character unable to defend itself — Hank Aaron's bat. The Editor says... The legal system is in need of repair when an inmate is permitted to file lawsuits unrelated to the case that put him or her in prison. A ruling so silly, the dissenting judge didn't even read it This is a case about nothing. … Now, after years of litigation over two dollars, the majority will impose on a busy judge to conduct a trial on this silly thing, and require a panel of jurors to set aside their more important duties of family and business in order to decide it. John Doe vs. flying imams: Imagine you're waiting to board a plane and you see fellow travelers acting strangely and muttering words that you don't understand. Maybe they're Muslim, maybe they're not. You're afraid that they are up to no good. What do you do? Nothing. If you report the behavior, you might get sued. Zero Tolerance or Unneccessary Legislation? In New York the trademark jingle of the iconic ice cream truck has been silenced. In Sacramento you have to use your inside voice on a thrill ride called the Screamer. And in Murpheesboro, Tenn., the city council implemented a body odor ban on its workers. Forget your deodorant and you could be breaking the law. … With more and more schools and local governments telling people what they can't do these days, some say America has become a nation of bans. Tidal Wave of Lawyers Nears, Bar Applications Forewarn. Even with 91,000 practicing attorneys in the five boroughs last year, a new wave of lawyers is hitting the city, as a record number of law school students are taking and passing the state bar, according to data provided by the New York State Board of Law Examiners. When Lawyers Become Bullies: There are only two ways to do things in life: voluntarily or forced. We reporters may be obnoxious, intrusive, stupid, rude, etc., but we cannot force anyone to do anything. All our work is in the voluntary sector. But litigation is force. When a plaintiff sues, a defendant is forced to mount a defense. If he settles or loses, he's forced to pay. Government is the enforcer. Clinton v. Obama: The Lawsuit. What splendid theater the Democratic Party presidential nominating process is shaping up to be. And they are just getting started. The real fun would be a convention deadlock denouement a few months from now, the prospect of which is already quickening the pulses of scores of Democratic lawyers who have been waiting more than seven years for an encore of their 2000 presidential-election performances. The $65 Million Dollar Pants Lawyer's Price For Missing Pants: $65 Million. When the neighborhood dry cleaner misplaced Roy Pearson's pants, he took action. He complained. He demanded compensation. And then he sued. Man, did he sue. … Pearson is demanding $65,462,500. The original alteration work on the pants cost $10.50. By the way, Pearson is a lawyer. Okay, you probably figured that. But get this: He's a judge, too — an administrative law judge for the District of Columbia. Judge suing D.C. dry cleaner chokes up in court while recalling lost trousers. A judge had to leave the courtroom with tears running down his face Tuesday [6/12/2007] after recalling the lost pair of trousers that led to his $54 million US lawsuit against a dry cleaner. Administrative law judge Roy Pearson had argued earlier in his opening statement that he is acting in the interest of all city residents against poor business practices. The Editor asks... Can a sane person become so emotionally attached to a pair of pants? The Great American Pants Suit: When attorney Roy Pearson filed suit demanding $67 million from the Chung family, whose Washington dry cleaners had mishandled his pair of trousers, he must have felt he was sitting pretty. … Mr. Pearson probably had no idea that his Great American Pants Suit … would stir commentary around the world and come to symbolize the extent to which lawsuits in America can serve as a hobby for the spiteful and a weapon for the rapacious. The tale of the judge with no clothes: Showing that he's not totally unreasonable, Pearson acknowledged before trial that $67 million in damages was going a little overboard. He reduced his damage demand -- to $54 million. Pearson also asked the judge presiding over the case to award him attorney's fees. He is representing himself and … Pearson figures he deserves as much as $425 an hour. Why Judge Pearson's Lawsuit Matters: Judge Roy Pearson's lawsuit against his drycleaners for losing his pants induces an equal amount of outrage and mockery, but it's important to remember that this kind of legal excess is not that unusual. U.S. businesses and citizens are constantly bedeviled by litigious cranks and cranky litigators. Small business owners are especially vulnerable to frivolous but destructive lawsuits. How quickly the chickens come home to roost... Pants lawsuit could cost D.C. judge his $100,000 job. The boss of Roy L. Pearson Jr., the administrative law judge whose $54 million pants lawsuit has turned the D.C. legal system into a punch line on late-night talk shows, has recommended that the city deny Pearson another term on the bench, D.C. government sources said Thursday. Dry Cleaner Wins Missing Pants Case. A judge ruled Monday [6/25/2007] in favor of a dry cleaner that was sued for $54 million over a missing pair of pants. The owners of Custom Cleaners did not violate the city's Consumer Protection Act by failing to live up to Roy L. Pearson's expectations of the "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign once displayed in the store window, District of Columbia Superior Court Judge Judith Bartnoff ruled. Bartnoff ordered Pearson to pay the court costs of defendants Soo Chung, Jin Nam Chung and Ki Y. Chung. Pants suit judge hanging on to job by a thread. For months, calls have poured in from around the globe demanding the dismissal of Roy Pearson, the city judge who unsuccessfully sued a Northeast Washington dry cleaners for $54 million over a missing pair of pants. A five-person commission today is expected notify Pearson and his boss of their concerns with Pearson. Some D.C. government officials had hoped to have the matter wrapped up last month. Judge Who Filed Suit Plans to Appeal Defeat. The Pants Judge isn't giving up. A day after the dry cleaners he sued tried to make peace, D.C. Administrative Law Judge Roy Pearson filed notice yesterday that he plans to appeal the verdict against him to the District's highest court. The owners of Custom Cleaners in Northeast Washington had hoped to head off Pearson by withdrawing their demand that he pay tens of thousands of dollars in attorney fees and prevailing on him to let the case lie. Even if you win, you lose. Dry cleaner in pants suit closes. The owners of a dry cleaner who were sued for $54 million over a missing pair of pants have closed and sold the shop involved in the dispute, their attorney said Wednesday. The South Korean immigrants are citing a loss of revenue and the emotional strain of defending the lawsuit. Judge Who Lost Pant Suit Loses Job. Roy L. Pearson Jr., the administrative law judge who lost his $54 million lawsuit against a Northeast Washington dry cleaner, lost his job yesterday [10/29/2007] and was ordered to vacate his office, sources said. Pearson, 57, who had served as a judge for two years, was up for a 10-year term at the Office of Administrative Hearings, but a judicial committee last week voted against reappointing him. Update: Victims of $67 Million Dry Cleaning Suit Speak Out. Jin and Soo Chung came to the United States in search of the American dream. What they experienced was the nightmare of American lawsuit abuse. While the Chungs may not be household names, most Americans are aware of the $54 million lawsuit over pants they temporarily misplaced. That lawsuit, which was laughable on its face, has had a very unfunny impact on their business and their lives, forcing them to close two of their three dry cleaning stores and causing years of anxiety and sleepless nights. The latest: Judge in pants lawsuit sues to get job back. The former judge who last year lost a multimillion-dollar lawsuit against a dry cleaners over a missing pair of pants wants his job back. Roy Pearson was not reappointed after his term expired as an administrative law judge in the District of Columbia. He filed a lawsuit Thursday [5/1/2008] in federal court accusing city government and others of an "unlawful demotion and subsequent termination." [Filing lawsuits is apparently what he does best.] No window desk? That'll cost you $33M, she says in suit. She's definitely not a woman for all seasons. A Connecticut secretary who suffers from the "winter blues" is suing her ex-employers for $33 million, claiming they wouldn't give her a well-lit desk with a window view. Caryl Dontfraid says she has seasonal affective disorder, which causes depression during the fall and winter and can be alleviated by exposure to bright light. Man sues Zondervan to change anti-gay reference in Bible. A Canton man is suing Zondervan Publishing and a Tennessee-based publisher, claiming their versions of the Bible that refer to homosexuality as a sin violate his constitutional rights and have caused him emotional pain and mental instability. Bible Causes 'Emotional Pain' To Man Who Sues Christian Publishers. A man who claims the Bible has caused him emotional pain is suing two major Christian publishers over their Bibles. Bradley LaShawn Fowler of Canton, Michigan is suing Zondervan for $60 million and suing Thomas Nelson for $10 million. Man moved by spirit of God sues church over injury. A man says he was so consumed by the spirit of God that he fell and hit his head while worshipping. Now he wants Lakewind Church to pay $2.5 million for medical bills, lost income, and pain and suffering. Nebraska woman with hearing disability sues McDonald's. A hearing-impaired woman has filed a federal lawsuit against a local McDonald's, saying workers there refused to let her order food at the drive-thru window. Karen Tumeh of Lincoln says they insisted she either order at the electronic speaker along the drive-thru lane or come inside to order. Science is not a democracy. Because of liability fears and minimal profit margins on lifesaving vaccines, only five companies are still in the vaccine business, down from 26 a few decades ago. If these few sense increased liability after a verdict against vaccines in federal court, they will flee the market as well. Leading Class-Action Lawyer Is Sentenced to Two Years in Kickback Scheme. William S. Lerach, a former partner of the law firm now known as Milberg Weiss, was sentenced Monday [2/18/2008] to two years in prison and ordered to forfeit $7.75 million for concealing illegal payments to a plaintiff in the class-action lawsuits for which the firm became famous. Canadian Court to Father: Grounding Daughter 'Too Severe' a Punishment. What started as a simple case of parent-child disagreement has turned into what some fear is a precedent-setting ruling. In Quebec, a 12-year-old girl repeatedly ignored her father's rules and posted a profile of herself at an online dating site. Her father then grounded her from attending her sixth grade field trip. The punishment lasted as long as it took the girl to notify her court-appointed lawyer, have the judge "fast-track" the case, and ultimately get her punishment overturned by a Quebec Superior Court. Richland girl sues Hasbro after Easy-Bake Oven incident. A 6-year-old Richland girl is suing the maker's of the Easy-Bake Oven, Hasbro, Inc., for $1.2 million after she got her hand stuck in the oven for more than three hours. Emergency room doctors were forced to cut the device off with a bone saw after conventional methods failed. High court to decide if man should be compensated for bottled fly. Canada's highest court is to rule Thursday [5/22/2008] on whether a man who found a fly in his bottle of water should be compensated for anxiety and depression. Martin Mustapha of Windsor, Ont. said he was forever altered by finding the insect, despite the fact he didn't drink from the bottle. He said he developed a phobia about flies, cannot sleep, is irritable and his sex life has suffered. Update: Hairdresser loses dead fly case. A Canadian hairdresser who says he suffered from depression and phobias after finding a dead fly in his bottled water has lost a case for damages. Waddah Mustapha had been awarded $341,775 in damages in 2005, but the Supreme Court of Canada has now overturned that award. Convict takes Executive to court over 'embarrassing' telephone warning. A serial offender serving 21 years in jail is spearheading the latest legal challenge for prisoners' rights in Scotland -- complaining that outgoing telephone calls carry a pre-recorded warning. After a lengthy battle to secure thousands of pounds in legal aid, Stewart Potter, 43, has taken a case to the Court of Session in Edinburgh, claiming the phone message "is an ... embarrassing reminder to his family" that he is calling from prison. Greedy Trial Lawyer? Naaah. When is a contingent fee too high, even for the American Trial Lawyers Association? How about when it makes their members blush. Man sues himself in court. A Californian [of course] has taken the nation's litigation craze to a new level by effectively suing himself. The Fourth Yacht's the Charm. Or, "Not only loose lips sink ships." Bad Medicine: Numerous anecdotes about frivolous medical malpractice lawsuits. Tears help in court. A study by two Norwegian researchers finds clear advantages for those who shed tears during courtroom testimony. The landmark study will be published in a range of recognized foreign journals, newspaper Dagsavisen reports. The study found that both victim and accused were judged more credible if they cried during their testimony, and that this effect could be seen even on experienced police officers. Assault on alcohol industry is a case of litigious malfeasance. There's nothing new about lawyers attempting to profit from tragedy. When an individual dies after behaving irresponsibly, an attorney always can be found to blame someone with deep pockets. Police won't chase if thief has no helmet. [British] Police refused to chase a thief who had stolen a moped because the youth was not wearing a helmet, the victim said yesterday [6/29/2006]. Max Foster, 18, said officers told him they feared being sued if the thief fell off the moped and injured himself. Foiled Burglar Sues Store Employees for 'Emotional Distress'. A man who was beaten by employees of a store he was trying to rob is now suing. Clinton pardon helps ex-con to law degree. Serena Nunn is set to graduate from University of Michigan law school — even though she served 11 years in prison on felony drug charges. Nunn was only able to get into the school after getting pro-bono legal assistance and a White House pardon. [One has to wonder what kind of lawyer she will be.] Mentally Retarded Sue, Charging Condo Discriminated. The condominium board of a Washington Heights building is facing a discrimination lawsuit on behalf of five mentally retarded adults who want to move in. The lawsuit, filed recently in federal court in Manhattan, is the latest chapter in Margaret Puddington's effort to find a suitable home for her son and four of his friends. Mark Puddington, 26, and his intended roommates are mentally retarded to varying degrees. Man files lawsuit to take wife's name. Mike Buday isn't married to his last name. In fact, he and his fiancee decided before they wed that he would take hers. But Buday was stunned to learn that he couldn't simply become Mike Bijon when they married in 2005. As in most other states, that would require some bureaucratic paperwork well beyond what a woman must go through to change her name when marrying. [Here we have a man filing a lawsuit to facilitate abnormal behavior, and apparently he found a lawyer who was willing to abet, for a nominal fee.] Prescription Drugs: The "Next Wave" of Patient Lawsuits. To gain leverage against the companies, trial lawyers aim to build "inventories" of hundreds or thousands of plaintiffs that they can settle simultaneously for hundreds of millions of dollars. 34 People Accused Of Fat Fraud. U.S. Attorney's Office announced Thursday the arrest of 34 people who investigators said defrauded social security using obesity as an excuse not to work. The 34 Miami-Dade County residents who were named in 25 separate indictments allegedly claimed that they were so overweight that they were unable to work. Investigators said not a single one of those indicted had a legitimate claim to benefits. Two! Four! Six! Eight! … Protesters just here to litigate!. The professional protesters who intend to disrupt the Republican National Convention keep going to court with strange demands. It can only be concluded that they are professionals, incidentally, for they seem to have time to keep going to court. … While it is certainly true that the citizens have every right in the world to protest, there is no constitutional protection for their demands that they be seen or heard by a certain number of people. That is their latest complaint. A Thought Experiment. One of the most prominent tort lawyers in the country, Melvyn Weiss, was sentenced yesterday to 30 months in federal jail after pleading guilty to paying plaintiffs to file class-action suits. He must report by August 28th. His former partner Bill Lerach, equally well known, is already in jail for the same crime, serving two years. Richard Scruggs, perhaps the most famous and certainly one of the richest tort lawyers in the country (he made hundreds of million in the tobacco settlement case), recently pled guilty to the attempted bribery of a judge. He will be sentenced July 2nd and faces up to five years. Class-Action Lawyer Gets 30 Months in Prison. Melvyn I. Weiss, the prominent class-action lawyer, was sentenced on Monday to 30 months in prison by a Federal District Court judge in Los Angeles for his role in concealing illegal kickbacks to plaintiffs. He was also ordered to pay $9.8 million in forfeitures and $250,000 in fines. How does this guy sleep at night? He defended John Hinkley, Jr. after the latter's attempt to assassinate President Ronald Reagan. He defended former Bolivian Defense Minister Carlos Sanchez-Berzain, a human rights violator accused of 67 deaths. He was a "personal attorney" for Kofi Annan in the UN Oil for Food scandal and he provided "special counsel" to Bill Clinton during his impeachment trial. … And he's a senior foreign policy advisor to presumptive Democratic nominee Sen. Barack Obama. Tort Tribute: How Democrats repay the plaintiffs bar. Democrats devoted their first months in the majority to paying back unions for their electoral support. Now it's time for the other huge campaign bankrollers. And don't think the trial bar, beat down by years of GOP tort reform, isn't expecting to feel the love. Since 1994, law firms and lawyers have thrown a half-billion dollars at getting lawsuit-friendly Democrats back in the majority. Lawsuits make us less safe. Why do we have to worry about shortages of flu vaccine? Because only a handful of companies still make it. And why is that? Because when you vaccinate millions of people, some get sick and sue. Between 1980 and 1986, personal-injury lawyers demanded billions of dollars from vaccine manufacturers. That scared many American drug companies out of the business. Ex-Professor Claims Dog Feces Is Political Expression. The lawyer for an ex-professor accused of leaving dog feces at a congresswoman's office said her client's actions qualify as protected speech under the First Amendment. Homework Case Gets an "F" for "Frivolous". Lawsuit Abuse Fortnightly reported in February 2005 that a Wisconsin high school student and his father had filed suit against the student's math teacher and the school district that employs him, alleging it was unconstitutional to deprive the student of a "homework-free summer." Environmental activists' suits damage wildlife in the long term. Environmental groups are unwittingly destroying forests and killing wildlife with lawsuits. Ironically, they are doing so while claiming to save them. Activists again are filing lawsuits to stop forest management, and the government pays them to do it. They craft settlements that pay them handsomely with taxpayer money so that they can live well and file the next lawsuit. No wonder they are inflexible. Cleanliness is next to ... Litigiousness. A Denver, Colorado woman has been sued by her elderly neighbors for bathing. According to news reports, Marvin and Goldie Smith, 83 and 78 respectively, have sued their neighbor, Shannon Peterson, alleging that her 5 a.m. baths cause the water pipes to shake so violently that the elderly couple cannot sleep. A letter from the Smith's son, a partner in the Holland and Hart law firm … ordered her to stop running water in her unit before 8 a.m. No Escaping a Lawsuit. The families of seven illegal immigrants who died after being abandoned in a sealed truck trailer while being smuggled into the United States are suing the trailer manufacturer in federal court. Specifically, the relatives claim that the manufacturer is liable for the deaths because there "were no warnings, instructions, decals or other means of warning of the dangers of transporting individuals inside the trailer." Supreme Court Buries Patent Trolls. The U.S. Supreme Court has tipped the balance in patent disputes ever so slightly toward the users of patented technology and away from inventors, owners of intellectual property and the hated "patent trolls" — companies that make money by suing for infringement of patents they own but don't use. West Virginia Sees Some, Not Enough, Tort Reform. There are two tort systems in West Virginia, or so it seems to observers of the litigation climate there. The first has been reformed in recent years, delivering the benefits of competition and choice to consumers, lowering prices, and luring companies and professionals. The second tort system, however, continues to drag down the West Virginia economy, delivering verdicts against defendants that bear little relation to actual damages or a fair reading of liability. Pick up the pace. In my years doing consumer reporting, I watched every American industry find ways to do things better, faster, and cheaper. Today's computers cost less, but are more powerful. Cars got better. Supermarkets offer more for less. Most every business is better. But not the law business. In law, everything is slow and expensive, and our choices limited. The peculiar fruit of the legal profession: Wacky Warning Labels. Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch (M-LAW) conducts an annual "World's Wackiest Warning Label Contest," and many of the winning labels are highly amusing. … Plaintiffs' lawyers who file the lawsuits that prompt these warnings argue they are making us safer, but the warnings have become so long that few of us read them anymore — even the ones we should read. Teflon accusation doesn't stick. Teflon has recently gone from the frying pan into the fire, thanks to some money-hungry lawyers. They've cooked up a scary story, adding a dollop of hyperbole for good measure. Unfortunately, they left out common sense and science. When sexual "harassment" is a joke. By the year 2020, every American will be a victim. Give it another 15 years, and there will be a study that puts every man, woman and child into one aggrieved group or another. Death by a thousand lawsuits. Though many Islamic groups across the United States have been closed since 9/11 for ties to terrorism, some Muslim organizations being accused of having similar such connections have turned for help to a branch of the government, specifically the courts. In most instances, though, the point does not seem to be winning or clearing one's own name, but rather to do what the government cannot: stifle criticism. City Gun Suits Are No Business of Congress. Quite simply, the power to control frivolous lawsuits belongs to the states. Those who would have it otherwise, including the NRA, are asking for trouble. Litigation central: A flood of costly lawsuits raises questions about motive. Fixing the jury system: When prospective jurors are given 30-page questionnaires made up by lawyers, asking intrusive questions about their personal lives and beliefs, the situation has gotten completely out of hand. Courts do not exist for the sake of lawyers but for the sake of the public. Allowing lawyers to fish around in hopes of finding one mushhead who can save their client makes no sense. Wisconsin is about to become a Mecca for lawsuit abuse. In July 2005, the Wisconsin Supreme Court abolished one of the classic requirements for recovery in lawsuits involving injuries allegedly caused by products. The legislature approved a bill that would fix the damage done by the court, but Democratic Gov. Jim Doyle vetoed it on January 6. The court's and governor's reckless decisions could open the doors to lawsuit abuse, resulting in heavy costs to consumers, workers, and investors in our state. Lawsuit Abuse Fortnightly — Special Hurricane Katrina Edition. Lawsuit Abuse Fortnightly readers will be dismayed — but not surprised — to learn plaintiffs' lawyers are following close on the heels of rescue workers in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. Painting the Town … with Lawsuits. Officials in Oakland and San Francisco have joined other California counties and municipalities in a lawsuit against eight U.S. paint and pigment manufacturers, the Lead Industries Association, and "up to 50 fictitiously named companies." The suit, based on lead paint exposure among children, is akin to proceedings launched more than a year ago by the State of Rhode Island. … It is important to note the very special attribute of this suit: local governments, not injured children or their parents, are the plaintiffs in this case. Dr. Coburn, I Presume. [Sen. Tom Coburn of Oklahoma, an obstetrician,] no longer accepts new patients and has withdrawn from a group partnership he belonged to with other physicians. He estimates that in today's litigious climate he needs $200,000 a year to pay for his expenses, mostly malpractice premiums. Arizona Prosecutor Has New Twist on Prosecuting Illegal Aliens. [Maricopa County Attorney Andrew] Thomas said that since the suspects paid the coyotes to transport them across the border, they are complicit in their own smuggling and therefore guilty of conspiracy. [That's a bit of a stretch, but it is quite clever!] What left-wing law professors consider "mainstream". Law school clinics weren't always incubators of left-wing advocacy. But once the Ford Foundation started disbursing $12 million in 1968 to persuade law schools to make clinics part of their curriculum, the enterprise turned into a political battering ram. Clinics came to embody a radical new conception that emerged in the 1960s — the lawyer as social-change agent. Judicial Hellholes are places that have a disproportionately harmful impact on civil litigation. Personal injury lawyers seek out these places because they know that they will produce a positive outcome — an excessive verdict or settlement, a favorable precedent, or both. For example, In Illinois' Madison and St. Clair Counties, more than 1100 healthcare providers have been sued. More than half of the region's 950 licensed physicians have been sued. Records show that 85 percent of these suits resulted in no payment to the plaintiff. Together, both counties will have lost 161 physicians by the end of 2004.This article is about the use of frivolous lawsuits to badger political enemies. CNS fights the good fight. Well, I have just lost an argument with Brent Bozell, head of that indispensable media monitor, the Media Research Center. Bill Would Punish Frivolous-Lawsuit Filers. Lawyers could lose their licenses for a year for repeatedly filing frivolous lawsuits under a Republican bill headed for passage in the House. Supporters say such lawsuits, deemed baseless by a judge for flimsy facts or faulty interpretations of the law, are a waste of court time and often a bonanza for lawyers rather than a chance to recoup legitimate damages for clients. Conflict of Interest. It's a simple system. Deep pocketed personal injury trial lawyers flood Democratic coffers with cash won exploiting the legal system. In exchange, elected Democrats pledge to reject tort or class-action reform or anything else that might drain their Golden River. But what happens when trial lawyers are the lawmakers? Massachusetts is finding out. Teacher sues student over hall collision: A New Jersey school teacher is suing an 11-year-old boy who accidentally collided in the hallway with her two years ago while he was running to catch his school bus. The boy was unaware that his family was being sued until a sheriff's deputy showed up at his door with a summons. Mothers sue over gender test that promised 99.9% accuracy. In a class action lawsuit filed in the US district court in Boston on behalf of 16 women the makers of the Baby Gender Mentor are accused of breaking their promise. Barry Gainey, the women's lawyer, said he knew of about 100 women whom the kit had failed…. The Editor says... These gender tests are not just to tell the mother what color of curtains to buy for the baby's room. Many people use these tests to facilitate gender-selection abortions. And naturally there are plenty of lawyers around if you want to file a "wrongful gender" suit. The tort tax: Having figured out how to win the legal lotto, [Erin Brockovich] and her firm are now suing several oil companies and the City of Beverly Hills, claiming some public high-school students in attendance there between 1975 and 1997 have cancer from oil-well vapors. Jackpot Justice and the Wal-Mart Case. Class action suits became tremendously more profitable, especially for lawyers whose contingency fees sometimes exceeded the money paid out to successful plaintiffs. Contingency fees are commonly viewed as a necessary device by which poor plaintiffs can access the court system. … But the excesses of contingency fees have become infamous, leading critics to label class action suits as "jackpot justice" for lawyers. The Vioxx lawsuit: When punishment is the crime. The story from Angleton, Texas, is — well, you know by now: Merck & Co. killed Robert C. Ernst! In fact, there's a far bigger story: "Runaway Texas jury consigns untold thousands to pain, suffering and, for all anyone now knows, death." Not the most economical headline you ever read but true — deadly true. Book review Fire and Smoke: Government, Lawsuits and the Rule of Law. Author Michael Krauss, a leading legal scholar on the relationship between tort law and personal freedoms, systematically dissects the tobacco and firearm recoupment lawsuits. He shows how such lawsuits betray every criterion of sound, effective, and just tort law. The lawsuits against gun manufacturers can show no damages, no proximate causation, and no wrongdoing. Similarly, governments have no direct damages to claim against tobacco manufacturers and cannot legally stand in the place of individual smokers or their families. Fire & Smoke concludes that recoupment lawsuits are incompatible with civil freedoms, representative democracy, and the rule of law upon which institutions of a free society depend. Interesting web site Lawsuit Abuse Fortnightly: A huge collection of news items (dozens, perhaps hundreds of anecdotes) about frivolous lawsuits all over the U.S. About auto litigation: Every mass maker of vehicles for the U.S. market — even Volvo, even Lexus, even BMW — has faced lawsuits in American courts alleging that its designs are impermissibly unsafe. The explanation is not that all models are defectively designed, but that drivers of all models get into accidents — and when crash victims' injuries are serious and the other driver underinsured, lawyers will often stretch quite a ways to find some theory or other that allows them to pull in the maker of the car as a defendant. Stupid Lawyer Tricks. The tort system is corrupting. By rewarding — in cold cash — irresponsibility and a tendency to blame others for unavoidable misfortunes, we are eroding our national character. Illinois Supreme Court Reverses Billion Dollar Class Action Award. The Washington Legal Foundation [has] scored a major victory for consumers, and a blow against "regulation by litigation," when the Illinois Supreme Court overturned an unprecedented $1.05 billion class action judgment entered against State Farm Automobile Insurance Company. The Court ruled 6-0 that it was wrong for the case to be certified as a nationwide class action on behalf of auto insurance policy holders, and that in any event, the plaintiffs failed to establish breach of contract damages or consumer fraud. More Microsoft Antitrust Suit Insanity. I have to "admire" just how lucrative the antitrust racket can be. Manufacture an injury under the antitrust laws, create a class (however lethargic and unresponsive) and simply stand by to cash in. Why would anyone even bother defend the rights of businessmen when the real money is made in looting them — and the businessmen go along with it? Florida Reins in Asbestos Litigation Abuse. Florida Gov. Jeb Bush (R) on June 20 signed legislation to reform the state's asbestos litigation system. Florida joins a growing number of states that are requiring plaintiffs to present evidence of actual medical ailments before recovering damages from companies linked to the manufacture of asbestos. Some Asbestos Grace. The asbestos lawsuit blob has grown so large that many companies have simply given up fighting it. Then there's W.R. Grace, which is on the verge of making legal history with a trial proceeding that could alter the federal asbestos bankruptcy landscape forever. Michigan House Considers Asbestos Bill. On May 23, the recently organized Michigan House of Representatives Committee on Tort Reform, by a vote of five to one, reported favorably to the whole body House Bill No. 5851, which would greatly change Michigan tort law related to asbestos and silica lawsuits. The $3,000 an Hour Trial Lawyer. Five dollar vouchers for the "victims," hundreds of millions of dollars in cash for the lawyers. Those are the proposed terms in just the latest in a long line of courtroom abuses perpetrated by America's trial lawyers. Class Action Shakedown. Trial lawyers continue to exploit the American legal system. Will Congress finally stop the abuse? A Country Named Sue. American business people these days … know that just about any employee they fire, for good cause or bad, can (if possessed of a sharp lawyer and a dull conscience) use the leverage of a lawsuit threat to demand a whopping severance packet. America Has Grounded the Wright Brothers. Today we seek to escape the responsibility of judgment while demanding that progress be risk-free. New products are expected to be instantly perfect, to last forever and to protect us from our own failings — or else we sue. By the late 1970s, general aviation accidents reached their lowest point in 29 years — yet liability lawsuits were up five-fold, and manufacturers were sued for even such obvious pilot errors as running out of fuel. Reparations or Rip Off? What may become the most massive attempted financial rape of the American Government and its 200-million taxpayers, for crimes which no one living committed, is now being plotted by a consortium of trial lawyers. They are well known for their excessive class-action lawsuit successes against segments of U.S. society in the past decade. With the claim of seeking justice, if they win, the greatest injustice ever attempted could bankrupt the government and people of the United States. Pair arrested for telling lawyer jokes at Long Island courthouse. Did you hear the one about the two guys arrested for telling lawyer jokes? But seriously folks, it happened earlier this week to the founders of a group called "Americans for Legal Reform," who were waiting in line to get into the First District Courthouse. Courts $pank frequent filer. In the courts, he's known as Mr. Litigious. Meet Peter Malley, a former math teacher who has filed 18 federal lawsuits against the city after he was fired by the Board of Education in 1987. But the Clifton, N.J., instructor never got over it. Instead, he has filed 15 lawsuits in Manhattan federal court and three others in Brooklyn and New Jersey courts, seeking reinstatement and millions of dollars in damages. Transgender Woman Sues Catholic Hospital for Refusing Breast Augmentation Surgery. A transgender woman in California has gone to court, claiming that a Catholic-affiliated hospital discriminated against her when it denied her request for breast augmentation surgery. Gun Control Group Stands Against Lawsuit Control. A gun control group that uses lawsuits in an effort to bankrupt the gun industry says it is opposed to tort reform legislation — legislation, it says, that would "shut the courthouse doors to victims of negligence and mistreatment." Asbestos Litigation Is Bankrupting America: Sixty-five percent of the funds generated by asbestos litigation, according to a RAND Corporation study, doesn't reach the people who are supposed to benefit, but finances instead a complex and adversarial system that rewards lawyers much more richly and consistently than victims. Congress has been repeatedly asked to remedy the situation, yet opposition from trial lawyers (who are major donors to the Democratic Party) has kept it from acting. The Wrong Approach on Asbestos. Hundreds of firms face the imminent threat of bankruptcy at the hands of a predatory trial bar with all the economic calamities that inevitably result — lost jobs, a depleted source of settlements and destruction of the retirement pensions of ten of thousands of employees. Related topics: Jump to the page about The ACLU Lawsuits over the Ten Commandments Jump to the information about Property seizures Jump to the page about The Americans with Disabilities Act Back to the Home page |
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